Self-Assurance, August, 2014

Have you noticed uncertainty in your life lately? Uncertainty about what to do or how to do it? Uncertainty about your life, your goals, your direction or relationships? Uncertainty about your decisions, how to proceed or where you are going? I’ve noticed a lot of that lately in the people I see as clients and among my friends and family.

It seems many people have become a little ‘gun shy’ when it comes to making decisions or moving forward in their lives. They know they want to … but fearful of making a ‘wrong’ decision or move. While talking to a lady this past weekend about how she will spend the rest of her summer, she presented every scenario possible along with all of the pros and cons, then concluded she had to spend more time thinking through the possibilities.

To my dismay I discovered she had been inflicted with the wide spread syndrome known as ‘analysis paralysis’. Its a frightening disorder to witness. And, it appears to have blanketed large portions of the Midwest, and perhaps other surrounding areas. The only known cure is a risky self-induced regimen of Self-Assurance. Its difficult at best to administer at first. Once you get the patient or client to initially accept the treatment, getting them to continue with the daily regimen is questionable. Without the daily regimen they can easily slip in and out of coma-like syndrome. Alas!

Self-Assurance is really quite simple. Perhaps when people get older it becomes easier to administer and to maintain the regimen … I know I am much more adept at staying with the regimen. I remember a time when I was afraid of making a ‘mistake’. Perhaps I would tick someone off, or offend someone because of my actions or lack of action. Perhaps I would appear to be self-serving or self-centered if I took care of myself, my family, or my needs first, rather than seeking someone else’s approval or assurances. Perhaps I felt I wasn’t deserving of a self-rewarding outcome and needed to check with someone to make sure it was ‘OK’ for me to proceed with my decision. Or, perhaps I was so intent on ‘reading’ the situation accurately that I needed input from others, just to make sure I ‘knew’ exactly what to do and what the eventual outcome would be.

After much analysis I realized the only person who knew me well enough to make a determination as to what would be in my best interest was me. I also knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would never intentionally harm anyone. So any decisions, goals or outcomes I might seek would be an attempt at living my life simply, honorably, and in the best possible way. Breaking through the syndrome freed up all of the time I would have normally spent suffering through my own ‘analysis paralysis’.

Today my days and nights are filled with laughter, freedom, and a certainty about my life. Analysis paralysis takes away your chance at self-assurance. You spend so much time playing the ‘what if game’ your mind constantly sifts through all of the possibilities of any given scenario. It becomes filled with realistic and unrealistic possibilities … leaving no room for creative or logical thought. Making it difficult, if not impossible, to know your own self and reaching out towards your own self-assured potential.

No … I still don’t know what I’ll be when I ‘grow up’ or what I will be doing next week, next month, or next year. I do know that living a self-assured life has given me the confidence to try things I wouldn’t have otherwise tried (for fear of offending or failing), and to face each and every hurdle or obstacle as it comes up with patience, certainty and kindness.

Take this month to develop your own Self-Assurance regimen. When wondering what the best course of action should be, or what someone else might be thinking, or whether to proceed towards your goals, stop! Trust yourself and your actions to be a true reflection of the ‘you’ that dwells within. Before you ask someone else for their opinion or input, ask yourself what you would tell your best friend should they come and ask for your opinion or input. Then execute!!

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